


The Hope's Peak Tango

by BarettaVendetta



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 10:41:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12106965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarettaVendetta/pseuds/BarettaVendetta
Summary: A parody of 'The Cell Block Tango' from 'Chicago'. Warning: contains spoilers for the first two Dangan Ronpa games!





	The Hope's Peak Tango

**Mikan:** Pig!

**Nanami:** Hope!

**Leon:** Squish!

**Hanamura:** Nuh-uh!

**Mondo:** Strong!

**Celes:** Anime!

 

**Mikan:** Pig!

**Nanami:** Hope!

**Leon:** Squish!

**Hanamura:** Nuh-uh!

**Mondo:** Strong!

**Celes:** Anime!

 

**Monokuma:** And now, the six merry murderers of Hope’s Peak High, in their rendition of The Dangan Ronpa Tango!

 

**Mikan:** Pig!

**Nanami:** Hope!

**Leon:** Squish!

**Hanamura:** Nuh-uh!

**Mondo:** Strong!

**Celes:** Anime!

 

**All:** They had it coming

They had it coming

They only had themselves to blame

If you’d have been there

If you’d have seen it

**Mondo** : I betcha you would have done the same!

 

**Mikan:** Pig!

**Nanami:** Hope!

**Leon:** Squish!

**Hanamura:** Nuh-uh!

**Mondo:** Strong!

**Celes:** Anime!

 

**Mikan:** Er…you know how people can be really mean sometimes?

Like Saionji.

Saionji was…she was always picking on me.

She called me a ‘filthy bitch’ and a ‘dirty p-pig’.

So I came into the bar one day, and honest, I, I wasn’t plotting Ibuki’s murder or anything.

And th-there’s Saionji, doing up her kimono.

“Ugh get away from me, you pig,” she-she says.

So I said to her, “You call me a pig one more time…”

And she did.

So I, er, got this knife…

And slashed the bitch’s throat.

 

**All:** She had it coming

She had it coming

She only had herself to blame

If you’d have been there

If you’d have heard it

I betcha you would have done the same!

 

**Nanami:** I always thought Nagito Komaeda was a bit strange.

He was always talking about hope.

When we were in the funhouse, he did a little investigating.

And then he found out.

“Hope?” he thought, “Hope, my ass!”

It turned out he and the others were members of Ultimate Despair, and he wanted to kill them all.

So that night, he fixed his own murder.

He lit a fire and I threw a bottle of water to put it out.

You know, some guys just can’t hold their poison gas.

 

**All:** He had it coming

He had it coming

He was a flower in its prime

But then he used us

And he abused us

It was a murder, but not a crime!

 

**Leon:** Now I’m going into my room, minding my own business.

There’s Sayaka Maizono in a rage.

“I’m going to kill you, Leon,” she says.

She was crazy. She kept on screaming,

“I’m going to kill you, Leon. I have to get out of here.”

I broke her wrist. It was in self-defence.

And then she ran into my knife.

She ran into my knife ten times.

 

**All:** If you’d have been there

If you’d have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!

 

**Hanamura:** ( _incoherent babbling_ )

 

**Monomi** (translating): How did I find mythelf here?

They thay I went under the table and thtabbed the Impothtor with a thkewer.

I thought I wath thtabbing Komaeda.

He thaid he wath going to commit a murder and I jutht wanted to help.

I didn’t mean to kill the Impothtor, it wath a mistake. I thought I wath doing the wight thing.

I twied to ekthplain at the twial, but they didn’t underthtand.

 

**Leon:** Yeah, but did you do it?

 

**Hanamura:** Nuh-uh! I ain’t guilty!

 

**Mondo:** My brother Daiya and I had this biker gang, the Crazy Diamonds.

I challenged him to a race for the leadership, and he died.

That was the secret in my envelope. It said I was responsible for his death.

I knew how weak I really was.

So this one night, Chihiro asks me to go to the gym with him.

We’re down at the gym, the two of us, training, having a few laughs.

Then he asks me, “How do I become strong like you, Mondo?”

Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out.

I couldn’t remember a thing.

It wasn’t until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands,

I even knew he was dead.

 

**Mondo:** He had it coming

He had it coming

He had it coming all along

I didn’t do it

But if I’d done it

How could you tell me that I was wrong?

 

**Celes:** I loved Hifumi Yamada more than I could possibly say.

He was a real artistic guy…sensitive…a doujin artist.

But he always preferred 2D to 3D, and he was always looking for inspiration.

He’d go out every night looking for inspiration and on the way he found Sailor Moon,

Miku Hatsune,

Ayu Tsukimiya,

And Buko-chan.

I guess you could say we split up because of artistic differences.

He saw himself as alive.

And I saw him dead.

 

**All:** The dirty otaku!

The dirty otaku!

They had it coming

They had it coming

They had it coming all along

‘Cos if they used us

And they abused us

How could you tell us that we were wrong?

 

**Junko:** You had it coming

You had it coming

You should have listened to the bear

It’s time to pay up

You stupid bastards

I’m gonna make you all feel despair!

 

**Mikan:** You make fun of me one more time…

**Nanami:** Hope, my ass…

**Leon:** Ten times…

**Hanamura:** Miley Cyrus…

**Mondo:** He wanted to be strong…

**Celes:** Artistic differences…

 

**Mikan:** Pig!

**Nanami:** Hope!

**Leon:** Squish!

**Hanamura:** Nuh-uh!

**Mondo:** Strong!

**Celes:** Anime!

 


End file.
